Trauma can take many forms.
Trauma can follow a particular event, or an experience that was too much, something that was too soon or for too long. But it can also come from experiencing a lack of something or experiencing not enough for too long, such as not enough safety, support, choice, emotional responsiveness or opportunity to say no.
Sometimes it is not only what happened, but the circumstances in which we had to live with it: how much power or agency we had, what resources were available to us, and whether there was enough time and space afterwards to recover.
Sometimes there is a particular experience, relationship or period in our lives that we know has affected us. At other times, there may be no single event to point to. Instead, we may have grown up adapting to relationships or environments in which important emotional needs were not consistently recognised, understood or met.
These experiences can shape how we relate to ourselves, to other people and to the world around us, often long after the circumstances themselves have changed.
You may recognise some of these experiences
The effects of difficult or traumatic experiences can show up in many different ways (although these experiences can also have other causes).
Headaches or dizziness; persistent tiredness or fatigue; tightness or muscle tension; changes in breathing; digestive difficulties, including nausea, changes in appetite or symptoms such as IBS; and difficulties falling asleep, staying asleep or feeling rested.
IN THE BODY
Withdrawing or isolating yourself; loneliness even when you are around other people; difficulty trusting; struggling to establish or maintain boundaries; becoming very attached or pulling away when relationships feel uncertain; moving between seeking closeness and needing distance; or finding yourself repeatedly caught in similar patterns of conflict or relationships.
IN RELATIONSHIPS
Feeling flat or numb; finding it difficult to experience pleasure; anxiety, panic or overwhelm; feeling constantly alert to what might go wrong; anger or irritability; shame or guilt; or a diminished sense of choice, control or agency.
EMOTIONALLY
Feeling disconnected from yourself or your surroundings; dissociation or “spacing out”; difficulties with memory or concentration; rumination or intrusive thoughts; self-criticism, self-blame or a negative sense of yourself; low mood, hopelessness or losing interest in things that previously mattered to you.
IN THOUGHTS & SENSE OF SELF
Trauma can leave us feeling powerless, helpless or ungrounded, and make it difficult to feel fully present in our lives.
When the past is still present
Trauma is often talked about in terms of what happened, an event, an experience or a period in our lives. But the event itself is only part of the story, what also matters is the impact it had on us, and as such it is often this impact that we carry forward long after the experience itself is over.
For some people, there is a clear connection between what they have experienced and what they are struggling with now. For others, the connection can be less obvious. This can be particularly true when difficult experiences happened over a continued period of time, or when what we needed was missing or absent from our lives. These experiences can be much harder to recognise and put into words.
We may also understand what happened intellectually and still find ourselves responding in ways that are difficult to change or make sense of. These responses can show up in our emotions, our relationships and our bodies, in anxiety or feeling constantly on alert, shutting down, exhaustion or disconnection, anger or strong physical reactions, or patterns that repeat themselves over and over again.
Therapy doesn´t always include repeatedly going back over what happened, instead we can work with the ways those experiences continue to affect you in the present, while making space to understand the past where that feels useful.
I work in an integrative way, which means that we adapt to what feels most important in a given session. At times, it may feel important to talk through your experiences, understand what happened and make connections between the past and what is happening in your life now. At other times, understanding something intellectually may not, on its own, change the way you feel or respond.
This is when we might work more somatically, using a body-oriented approach to pay attention to what is happening in the present moment. This might include noticing physical sensations, emotions, impulses, changes in breathing or tension, or shifts in how connected or settled you feel. Rather than being separate from talking this becomes another way of exploring and working with your experience.
At other times, the most useful work may be more practical: developing new skills or ways of responding, finding strategies to manage difficult emotions or situations, or experimenting with changes that make everyday life feel more manageable.
How we work can change over time, depending on what you need and what feels most useful to you.
Feel free to get in touch
If you wonder something, would like to ask a question, or arrange an appointment, you are welcome to send a message below.