Sometimes people don't necessarily think of themselves as struggling to cope because, in many ways, they are still coping. They are going to work, looking after children, managing relationships and doing the things that need to be done, but increasingly everything seems difficult, and there is very little left around the edges.

This can show up in different ways, perhaps feeling exhausted in a way sleep doesn´t fix, finding noise or other people's needs increasingly difficult to tolerate, struggling to make decisions, or noticing that your body seems to be responding through changes in sleep, breathing, muscle tension or pain. Sometimes there is a clear point where everything becomes too much, while for others it happens so gradually that feeling tired, stressed or physically uncomfortable has simply become part of everyday life.

When carrying on becomes difficult

Often people have been carrying a lot for a long time, whether that comes from work, family, health, financial worries or experiences from the past that still feel present. When there is very little space between one demand and the next, we can become very good at getting through what needs to happen without necessarily noticing how much it is costing us.

Something I often notice is that people experiencing burnout or significant overwhelm are not necessarily people who have struggled to cope, but people who have become very good at it. Being responsible, independent and accustomed to managing things can carry us a long way, but it can also make it difficult to recognise when our own needs and capacity have been pushed aside for too long.

Our circumstances matter too, including the resources and support we have around us, and sometimes what is being asked of us is simply more than we can reasonably manage. For people living with ongoing health conditions, pain for fatigue, the additional demands of managing symptoms and uncertainty can make everyday life even more complicated.

How therapy can help

Quite often people already know that they need to slow down, reduce stress, set boundaries or listen to their body, but knowing that and actually being able to do it are quite different things, particularly when you have spent a long time putting other people's needs first, pushing through tiredness or living in circumstances where there isn't enough support.

In therapy we can begin to make sense of what has brought you to this point, looking at what you have been carrying, the resources available to you and the patterns that may have helped you keep going, while also paying attention to how stress and overwhelm are being experienced in your body and everyday life.

This might involve becoming more familiar with the earlier signs that something is becoming too much, exploring why it can be difficult to rest or say no, recognising what genuinely helps you recover, or finding ways to make your own needs and capacity part of the decisions you make. The intention isn't to become less capable or lose the responsible and caring parts of ourselves, but to have more flexibility around them.

My approach is integrative, relational and somatically informed, and how we work will depend on your experiences, circumstances and what feels important to you. Therapy can be useful when you are beginning to notice that things are becoming difficult, while you are on sick leave, or as you navigate a gradual return to work.